you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
