I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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