I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
