Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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