pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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