I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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