What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize