Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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