let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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