wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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