i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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