he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
