we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize