I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
