You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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