there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
