And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize