Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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