so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize