It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
