He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
