we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
