I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
