Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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