Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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