at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
