I want to stick my p in your. b.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
