He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
