Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
