addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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