You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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