Your face is a jimmy john
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
