Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
