so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
