yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
