Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
