I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
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