remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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