he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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