oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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