I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
