well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
