you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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