So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I have demons in me.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
