Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
