hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
