wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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