I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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