Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
