Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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