i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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