my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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