Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
