He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
