he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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