My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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