It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
