i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize