I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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