well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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