For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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