just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
