Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I need a hoe opinion
go on
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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