I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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