Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
North Korea, Best Korea!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
