god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
