Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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