I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
