I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
