Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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