all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
