I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize