jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
