I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
