if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
did i walk over a car last night?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
